I think that my first blog should be about my relationship with God and why I have chosen to not only be a Christian but why I also lead my family to do so as well. Let me begin by saying that at the ripe age of 7 years old I accepted Jesus as my personal savior. That does not mean that for the remainder of the 30 years that I have been living that I never walked away from Him because I did, and even though I regret those times it allowed me the opportunity to know that despite my many mess-ups Jesus still waited on me to come back to Him. It also would be false to say that I knew everything at 7 years old in regards to a relationship with Christ, man I still don’t know everything and I definitely am not perfect. I can say that now that I am married and have a child, I know more about the character of God. The unconditional love He has for us, etc. But that brings an interesting question up, is there anything such as perfect Christian? Absolutely NOT! As I read God’s word I am reminded of all of the non-perfect people that He called, chose, and used for His glory! David was called a man after God’s own heart, however, David lusted after a married woman and had her husband sent to the front lines of war to be killed. WHAT?! Yes, that’s right, he was a man after God’s own heart. This doesn’t mean that he always was after God’s own heart because God detests sin but loves the person. And before anyone throws out the line, “doesn’t the bible say not to judge” let me just say by me saying something is a sin in that it is defined specifically in God’s word as sin is not judging. Would you say that I was judging if I was in your car and you were going 100 mph in a 45 mph zone and I said, ”Hey you might want to slow down there is a cop up there?” Or what if you were driving on a bridge and the bridge had collapsed and I told you it might be best if we turn around. I don’t imagine so. Now some people are very judgy in how they say things, but as long as I say it in love even though it may be hard to hear that we are wrong it should not be viewed as judging. But the best part about this relationship with Christ is that He doesn’t ask or expect you to be perfect, He asks you to be His. So all my life, my father and mother went to church and made sure that I, as well as my brothers, attended church. But it wasn’t just going to church that made the difference, it was also that my parents were faithful to going to church and taking us to church. It was at church that my love for music began and I was able to learn how to play the drums as well as picked up how to harmonize and sing. Most of my family can at least sing a little bit but I just fell in love with gospel music. Most of my fondest memories are those that involve going to church and worshipping. The night that I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior I was singing with my dad and mom. The night before my mother had thought that she was going to die. I cannot remember the specifics of what was going on with her but I remember her testifying that night about how she prayed for Jesus to help her and He did. Then as we sang a song called “Amazing Love” and I was just starting to sing verses to songs by myself in church and so I got the part of the song that says, “Now it was love that brought my heart to thrill the day He took my hand. He said that He’d go with me through my trials and my lifespan. So that’s when I told the Savior I’d do the best I can and now His robe I cling to as I journey through this land.” And it was something about the line I’d do the best I can that hit me right in the heart and it was as if God at that moment said, “All I ask is that you give me your best.” So I went to the altar and I asked Jesus to save my life and take control of my life. This didn’t mean that I was a perfect child or that I never got in trouble for being a kid cause I did but that moment places my life in a trajectory that would find me today leading worship, being the co-youth pastor at the church we attend, and leading a family who loves to go to church. But why? Why would I choose to be a Christian when there are so many other religions in the world? I can only say that I believe that the world and people who profess to be Christian have made it’s true meaning very cloudy. I also do not view my walk with Jesus as religion, as it was a religion that had Christ crucified, it was religious people who pushed for the crucifixion of Jesus but rather this is something more intimate and personal this is a relationship. He knows me inside and out, He knows exactly what I need even before I know it myself, and He has definitely helped me through a lot in my life. His word says in Hebrews 13:5, “5 ….., I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” He has been faithful to me when I was not faithful to Him. He has helped my daughter who had a temperature-related seizure be okay. She has had two now and it is so scary. But at that moment He helped her and she is fine. And even though many people might see my marriage to my wife as perfect and I believe every married couple would say that marriage is hard, but there was about a 6-month span where my wife and I were sped toward divorce. In those moments I prayed hard for my wife and myself that God would help us with what we were facing. However, there was a portion of those 6 months where I was complaining about the wrong I felt as though my wife was doing toward me and I am sure she said the same about me but I remember Jesus asking me if I loved her. My face was probably how your face is right now…I was like, “Duh of course I do.” Then what He said to me changed my mindset as He said, “well I have instructed husbands to love their wives like I love the church and I laid my life down for it.” Yeah…again my face was probably like yours right now. At that moment I prayed harder for us and although I would die for my wife He was more specifically talking about me killing off my pride. I began to pray for myself that God would turn me into the husband that He would have me be and the husband she needed me to be. Now our relationship is not perfect and much like this relationship I have with Christ, marriage is not a sprint but it is a race, so as long as we are running in love together toward the finish line it doesn’t matter about being perfect as long as we finish.
MLK Jr. Day
As I sit here with my daughter on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I wonder how the world will be years from now when she is older. On August 28th of this year, it will be 52 years since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his I have a dream speech. Although that seems so long ago 52 years is not that very long ago. Unfortunately, the world is still full of discrimination, racism, and prejudices. It is sad but true. I question if the world will change toward Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream of equality. I am a bi-racial male, my father is African-American and my mother is bi-racial with Native American and Caucasian. Twice I have been pulled over for stealing a vehicle that I owned, countless approaches by store staff who were not helpful but were following me, security called on an aisle I was on by myself, and even a couple of weeks ago a cop approached me as I was entering my vehicle to tell me that there was a complaint about where I was parked. Also during the Christmas Season, I attempted to have a special night with my wife and took her to the Billy Graham Library. As we entered the house that sits on the property there was a sign that said that there was to be no food or beverages in the house. There happened to be a choir outside the house and they had placed their hot chocolate on the sidewalk area outside the house. My wife placed her hot chocolate approximately 6 feet from there cups. After we turned the house we exited and I retrieved my wife’s hot chocolate just to be stopped by a white male with the choir who questioned what I was doing with the hot chocolate. It is just amazing that people of color are still coping with these types of things. That is not to say that there haven’t been steps in the right direction but the fact that it has been 52 years since that wonderful speech is crazy. I celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and thank him for his sacrifice for the cause of equality. I think it appropriate to end this blog with a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,” We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” Stay blessed everyone and have a wonderful day.
Fighting the things that are good for us
It’s midnight and my daughter is fighting sleep so I thought I would talk about something that I was just thinking about. Often we fight the things that are good for us. Why is that? Even from an early age like my daughter kids fight the sleep they need to be able to maneuver the day. It is crazy because I think about how many people choose not to give their life to a God who sent His only begotten son down to die for their sins. Even now many people are doing things that are a determent to their life and they know it but yet they fight what they know to be the right thing just to fit in. Even if you do not believe in the teachings of Christianity or believe that God is real or that Jesus is the Son of God who bore our sins on the cross, died and rose in victory over death, hell and the grave, we all have a moral compass, and yet in many people that compass appears broken. There is an individual in my hometown that I will not mention there name who has struggled with drug abuse and staying out of jail, who recently saw their friend die from an overdose but yet they refuse to get the help they need. Picture this, his mother with the only means of communicating with him being Facebook chat, video chatted him because she heard the news about his friend and with tears in her eyes she pleaded with him to go to rehab. Offered to take him and help with any money that he needed to go and even though she begged him to go, he refused. It is so sad to see people refuse or fight the help that they need because the wrong in their life outweighs what they would gain from a clean life. Years ago I was in a training about behavioral change. This class was specifically talking about “at-risk youth” who needed education, employment or training but who were stuck in the ruts of drug addiction and crime. The speaker said that if the outcome of change did not in their eyes outweigh the cost for change then the youth would not choose to change. I find this to be true with everyone, not just youth, people will continue to fight what they need unless they realize that the outcome of change is worth the cost of change. (I do not own the rights to this picture.)
“Daddy I love you!”
Well, today is Saturday at 9:48 pm. I am sitting here with my 4-year-old little girl at the kitchen table as she emulates a makeup tutorial using a color pencil. She is absolutely hilarious. I love her so much! I would love to share a picture or a video but she will not allow me to take one. As I sit here with her I begin thinking about all of the parents who had or have children that take them for granted or neglect them. I can not fathom how people abuse and neglect children. The crazy thing is that most of the time the abusers were also abused. They know exactly what the abuse feels like and how that took a toll on them and yet they continue the cycle of abuse. I wonder why that is? Why knowing how it feels and the affects that it took on themselves, how can they look at another child and do the same to them. It is all sad. This can be mental, sexual, emotional, or physical abuse, WHY WHY WHY? I believe in generational curses. This means that what a parent does follows their children into their children’s children and so on until someone stands up to say, “NOPE this stops here!” My proof is with my father. My father was in a home where he witnessed drug abuse, alcohol abuse, physical and emotional abuse. He unfortunately at the age of six years old witnessed his father stabbed to death. The emotional abuse or neglect did not stop there as my father will tell you that he does not remember his mother ever saying, “I love you” until he was an adult. As an adolescent, my father would watch as his older brothers began abusing alcohol and running with gangs then ultimately finding himself stuck in the same rut. My father grew into adulthood seeing jail and prison time on numerous occasions while also abusing alcohol. My mother and father met started dating, had my brother and right before I was conceived my parents started attending church regularly. My father stood up and said, “NOPE the abuse stops here”, and well here my daughter and I are sitting here laughing with each other. What better way to end the night, than with her looking up at me and saying, “Daddy I love you!”
Billy’s Infinity Gauntlet
I have called my blog “Billy’s Infinity Gauntlet”. I chose this title for starters because I I have called my blog “Billy’s Infinity Gauntlet”. I chose this title for starters because I enjoy all of the Marvel movies and characters with my favorite being the Hulk. But the infinity had six infinity stones which are powerful gems that if used correctly could do a lot of good but in the wrong hands can destroy a lot of people and things. The six stones each represent a certain element, the space stone, the reality stone, the power stone, the mind stone, the time stone, and the soul stone. My blog will consist of updates on my family, my personal walk with Christ, and really anything else that interests me. Just like the infinity Gauntlet the way that I lead my family could ultimately make or break a generations to come. So it is just my personal infinity gauntlet. Come join my journey in blogging! Be blessed!
#marriage #love #Jesus #church #praiseandworship #father #husband #family #adventure
Billy's Infinity Gauntlet 